This album was written out of a recent hard time that brought me to my knees. There I was going at full speed with life. I was very busy working, singing, raising my kids, being a wife, and being very active at my church in Hawaii when my body began to give out on me. I wasn't sure what was happening to me. I was experiencing a lot of fatigue and other unexplained symptoms. There were many days where I literally pushed through my symptoms. Finally, my body went into a crisis, and I began to have anxiety and panic attacks. I didn't know I was having panic attacks at first. Even the doctors didn't know that's what was going on with me. It was a very dark time for me. I was very ill, and I was afraid that I was dying. I kept getting blood tests, and they came back normal. I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. I finally had a panic attack at work, and I wasn't able to return. The doctor diagnosed me with anxiety, and I had to start an anti-anxiety medication just to function. The medication gave me horrible side effects. During that time I was so afraid, and no one understood how sick I felt. And, Jesus was right there with me, holding me, and giving me strength. I couldn't drive, shop at the store, sing, or do really anything but rest.
One day, as I was at my parents house, I was sitting on the couch feeling terrible from my medication. I felt all alone, and I was questioning all of my symptoms. I felt helpless and hopeless. I cried out to God to help me understand all of it. Then this song came to my mind. I began to cry as I wrote "When my body is too weak, when I can't hardly speak, I find Him there".......I felt the Holy Spirit rest upon me and I knew Jesus was with me and He was going to see me through.
As I searched God's word for comfort I found a verse in Isaiah 41:10 that reads "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." This verse became a mainstay for me. I began to claim it everyday, several times a day. It is a promise from Jesus to not be afraid because He is right there holding us with his mighty right hand! What a powerful promise!
After many months, I finally found a doctor who discovered why I was feeling so horrible. I began the correct treatment and had to change my life style by letting go of most my responsibilities. I had to rest, and make other changes. But, the Lord was healing me and teaching me to once again really lean on Him for everything. I was eventually able to lead my worship team at church again. I was able to drive, and do light shopping little by little.
Now, I am feeling much better. After experiencing daily anxiety attacks, fatigue, and other issues, I am here to proclaim the healing power of God! I am here to tell you about a wonderful savior Jesus Christ, who can literally take a broken person and give them strength. He sits with you and dries your tears, He gives promises in His word that He will be your strength, He guides you through each moment of the day. He comes into your storm, takes ahold of the boat, and calms the waves of uncertainty.
I know I have released many albums in the past, but this one is the most personal of them all. I listen to these songs almost everyday, because I need them. I am not 100% over the anxiety yet. I still suffer from it, but it's not as bad as it was. I know there are millions of people out there suffering from anxiety and health related issues. I am here to let you know that Jesus is right there with you! No matter what you're going through, Jesus will be there for you. Will you trust Him? He loves you.
I hope this new music will bless you, and you will find Him there right beside you.
Lots of love,